Pieces of Reunion Seeking Reunion Stories
Hey folks – A friend of mine sent this information along, and I wanted to share it with all of you. It’s so important that everyone who is part of the reunion process has a voice here. If you are interested in sharing your stories and thoughts please take a look. The deadline is 10/1/10
EMK Press, a leader in innovative publications and resources for people affected by adoption, is working to create a new book that takes a look at adoption reunion from all sides of the triad: Adoptee, First Parent, and Adoptive Parent. This book will explore the uncharted risks, pitfalls, and emotions that are a part of an adoption search, reunion process, and the life after reunion from the perspectives of those involved and impacted.
The emotional rollercoaster of searching for a family member across lost years is a journey most undertake without a map. The process can take years and have long reaching emotional implications, and until now, there has been very little to guide the participants. Every reunion journey is as unique as the individuals and circumstances. But there are commonalities that can be helpful when shared. Reunion changes each of us in ways we may have never imagined and it changes us forever.
How Has Adoption Reunion
We want to hear from you…all of you! We want to know what you felt, what you’ve learned, and your hopes for the future of your reunion. This will go beyond just the telling of the facts, but touch on the deeper emotions that weave in and out of an adoption reunion. This book is more than a bunch of “happily ever after” reunion stories that end after the first hug. We need your authentic voices and experiences to help others as they choose the path to take toward reunion and beyond.
This book will not only help those thinking about reunion and living in reunion, but be beneficial to those who work with all aspects of adoption: caseworkers, social workers, intermediaries, agencies, therapists, well meaning relatives, etc.
Adoption Reunion Stories are Needed from:
• The perspectives of adopted persons domestic, international and foster care circumstances whether you have searched or been found.
• The perspective of someone who has searched forever without finding.
• First parents, both moms and dads, whether you actively searched, patiently waited to be found, tried to pretend that it never happened at all.. or you are still somewhere in the middle.
• Adoptive parents of adoptees from domestic, international and foster care circumstances who have birthparent contact either through open adoptions or searching.
• Siblings (either bio or adopted) and spouses who have not only witnessed, but also felt the force of a reunion on their loved ones.
Reunion questions to think about:
• Why did you decide to search ( or not search)? Or were you found?
• Did you feel in control of your reunion? Did you care?
• Did you have expectations? How did reality live up to them?
• What were your hopes and fears for the reunion?
• How have your feelings changed about your birth/adoptive parents/children since the reunion?
• Has your reunion affected your relationship with other family members?
•What are some of the issues or feelings that you did or did not expect?
• What do you wish you could have been better prepared for?
• What do you wish you could do differently? What do you wish could have been different?
•l What challenges do you still face?
Stages in the Adoption Reunion Process:
We hope to gather the emotional journeys from all stages of the adoption search and reunion process.
To search or not to search: How did you decide? What did you fear? What held you back? What made it the right time to begin? Or why won’t you search?
The Hunt is On: How did it feel to be actively searching? How did you handle disappointments and dead ends? What means of personal support did you have, or not have? When do you give up?
Bingo! Found: Describe that feeling in that very moment.. what was it like? How did you react? What did you do next?
Making Contact: You waited and wondered and now it is here; how does it live up to what you imagined? How did you end up here and who do you bring with you? What was most important? What did you fear? What next?
Rejection: What happens when our biggest fear comes true? How do you deal with being sent away again? Do you give up again or what can or can’t be done to change the outcome?
Riding the Highs: Is it all going as planned? Can anyone understand what you are living though? How does this affect the rest of your life? Does the Honeymoon period end and when?
Facing the Pitfalls: What went wrong? What did you never see coming? What do you wish had been different? What attitudes or stereotypes did you find waiting? How can mistakes be repaired?
Integration: How do all the parties fit together? What defines your family now? How about your feelings towards extended family members? How do you fit in the future?
Longevity: How to make it work for the long haul? What kept the ties together? What challenges did you face and how did you mitigate them? What does an adoption reunion look like in 10 years, in 20, in 30? When do we fully heal?
Reunion doesn’t end when we meet, it continues throughout our lifetimes. We want to know what made your reunion work, or not. How have your perspectives changed through the course of your reunion? What you would tell someone going into this unique experience?
We are looking specifically for articles that deal with one subject. You may send in multiple submissions if you have several distinct topics to cover.
Stories will be collected and the final collection edited and arranged by Melanie Recoy and Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy. As an adoptee and birth mother, both have lived through their own reunions and understand adoption on very personal levels. All submissions will be handled in the upmost respect and care allowing everyone’s personal truth to tell its own story
And other ideas you might have we haven’t listed!
To submit an article, download how-to’s and the permission form by clicking here…
Questions? Shoot us an email by clicking here