Adoptive Fathers

It’s 9:30am in the morning and for some reason I’ve been scouring google with search terms like “adoption,” “transracial adoption,” etc.  Call it a hobby-Checking in on the millions of misinformed people that is.  I want to remain respectful of the fact that people are very much entitled to their own opinions.  In fact, I encourage many adoptive parents to honestly create dialogue with each other and hopefully with other adoptees.  But I can say firmly that there are just some things I can live with out.  Take for instance this blog I found that is created by adoptive fathers.  Four fathers blogging about their experiences with transracial adoption, their families and God.  I’m not much of a religious person, call it more “fairweather spirituality??”  In any event these fathers have a post that I wanted to share with you all.  They disclose the “positive” aspects of transracial families in this particular post. “Transracial families:

  • provide a bridge between two races
  •  reflect in a small way the diversity that will be experienced in heaven
  •  reveal the glory of God in diversity
  •  are less likely to be color blind
  •  are more focused on finding identity in Christ than in outward appearances
  •  make adoption more visible bringing greater attention to the joy and the need
  •  provide opportunities at a young age to talk about race
  •  encourages love for all peoples despite their appearances at a young age
  •  put the parents in a position to be extra-intentional in choosing friends, churches, books to read, etc.”
I really am not in the mood to really break all this down right now, it’s too early and my head hurts as it is.  These are all too common a-parental misconceptions.  Regardless of their good intentions, many of these very familial “positive traits” that they allude to provide nothing but confusing and contradictory statements.  
 
Can parents really divorce themselves from colorblindness by adopting a child of color?  I think not.  Can one still be racist or prejudiced EVEN if they say “But I have a friend who is Black, Native American, Latin@ or Asian?”  I think so.
 
It’s the very idea that one can remove their prejudice just by befriending a person of color, or expunge one’s colorblindness by adopting a child of color, that is a testament to the true blindness that exists within colorblind ideologies.  It’s absolutely wonderful that these a-parents are thinking about colorblindness as a debilitating concept-an ideology that they are attempting to transcend.  But to confront this powerful concept by tokenizing children of color, is in actuality performing the same colorblind based actions and decisions that they are trying to avoid in the first place.  
 
We’re not cultural ambassadors we’re not racial uniters.  We are your children whom you have adopted, and we didn’t choose to be a bridge to anyone.  To quote from Donna Kate Rushin’s “The Bridge Poem” in This Bridge Called My Back… 
 

“I’ve had enough  I’m sick of seeing and touching  Both sides of things sick of being the damn bridge for everybody…”  

 
 
I do more translating than the Gawdamn U.N. Forget it  I’m sick of it. I’m sick of filling in your gaps…” 
 
 
The bridge I must be is the bridge to my own power  I must translate  My own fears  Mediate  My own weaknesses I must be the bridge to nowhere  But my true self  And then  I will be useful.”
 
Thanks for reading as always – GS    

 

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One Comment on “Adoptive Fathers

  1. I’ve seen that blog too. One of the fathers (or maybe more than one, I forget) is an uber Christian too. I remember being very bothered by the rhetoric of “salvation” in some of his posts.

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