Previous Post…

Hi all.  I had some really personal stuff to share, and felt like PW protecting it for now.  The feelings are still pretty raw,  I hope you all understand.  If you would like to read it I have no problem giving out the password to you.  Please email me at gangshik.kadnexus@gmail.com for the password.

Adoptee Abuse, and Agency Parent Preparation

I have always wondered what the process is like for prospective adoptive parents.  I’ve heard stories from parents, but how prepared are these agencies?  How prepared are they to discuss issues such as abuse, race, stereotypes, etc. etc.

I wonder because I know agencies are NOT adequately equipped to assist parents in understanding these things prior to adoptions.  I know that it varies from agency to agency.  But I also wonder what sort of background checks really go into these placements.  For the most part, I would like to believe that these agencies have experienced and well trained social workers who put a lot of time and consideration into deciding whether a family is right for a child.  However, there are some who slip through the cracks.  But it’s unacceptable, and as you are about to see, it can lead to some of the most despicable acts.

When I read this article it devestated me, it angered me, and it made me think about all the adoptees who have suffered at the hands of their adoptive parents.  Recently I noticed a post on the K@W listserv that an adoptee was working on a panel dealing with abuse in adoptive families.  I know it happens, but to what extent?  I want to warn you before reading this how awful this is.  Although it’s a short piece, it is a sharp warning that these types of people SHOULD NOT fall through the cracks when placements are being made.

Who is responsible for these children after they are in the hands of their parents.  I mean, when children are “troubled” (and I hate using that word but I will for this purpose only), parents can go to their adoption agencies and say “look my kid needs help, what can we do?”  When an adoptee is being abused, what resources do they have?  Who can they turn to?  It’s not the adoption agency, it’s not their parents…If it wasn’t for the school guidance counselor who would she have turned to for help?

Take a look at the article from the Seattle Times:

Lacey couple accused of raping adopted daughter

2009 Homecoming Program Still Accepting Applicants

Hey all – Here’s another great opportunity to visit Korea courtesy of GOAL (Global Overseas Adoptees’ Link).  The deadline is coming up pretty quick, so get on this right away if you have any interest.  GOAL says that there are 10 more slots for Americans, and 15 more slots for Europeans.

*If you are interested please send an email to info[at]goal.or.kr with your full name, nationality, age and gender.  At the same time register with your local Korean embassy or consulate.  The extended deadline is until Thursday, 14th May 2009.

I urge you to check out the GOAL website for the full document and application which you can download.   -GS

Korean Government Invites You :

2009 Homecoming Program for
Overseas Korean Students and Adoptees

1. Purpose of Orientation

Korean government proudly presents you with 2009 Homecoming Program for Overseas Korean students and adoptees. We would like to provide you an opportunity to experience Korean culture and the modern progress of Korea. This program helps you to be proud of yourself as an ethnic Korean and to establish your national identity. Our goal is to take a leading role in international education exchange, and ultimately to develop Korean global human resource.

2. Brief Outline

1)Term

Group	Date	Category
Group 5	July 22(Wed) ~ July 29(Wed)	Korean adoptees (college students / adults)

2)Contents

Main Theme	Lectures	Experience	Special Activity
Korean culture camp	Supreme Korean culture Self-integrity training	Korean cuisine, Korean songs, Trying out Han-bok, Temple stay, etc	National / regional networking, Korea inside my mind

3. The Number of Participants

One hundred carefully chosen and selected Korean adoptees (including 6 program leaders)

Important notice : Quota varies for different regions & countries, so please refer to the table attached below.

4. Eligibility

1) Program participants

(1) Korean adoptees

(2) Those who have never visited Korea by invitation of Korean government or
other affiliated agencies.

(3) Those who have made great contribution to the overseas Korean society / those with outstanding volunteer experiences.

(4) Those who do not have any physical or mental issues in participating in group camp / orientation (including lectures and field trip).

(5) Those who have not violated any laws that might hinder his/her departure from the country.

(6) Those who have been recommended by the principals at their schools.
(must have their parent’s agreement as well)

2) Program leaders

(1) Those with strong responsibility and leadership who can generally deal with the
entrance and departure process of the students.

(2) Those who can act as a guidance teacher, who have no difficulty in dealing with
foreign students.

(3) Those who have been involved with activities supporting Korean adoptees
(4) Those who can fluently speak both in Korean and the language of corresponding region

5. Expenditure supported by Korean government:

1) Airfare for round trip (economy class)

2) Covers all expenses for whole program (including fees for field trips and accommodation)

3) Traveler’s Insurance

6. Details for Application

1) Application Offices: Korean legation in your residence
(Korean embassy / consulate or Korean education center)

2) Application Deadline: By the date designated by Korean embassy in your residence

(The application must arrive at NIIED by May 8^th, so please ask your local Korean
legation for the specific application schedule)

3) Required Documents:

① Application (listed below)

② Certificate of Enrollment / Employment
(for program leaders: recommendation letter for program leader)

③ Proof of identity: related documents or letter from consul / principal
④ Personal essay (self introduction on an A4 paper)

⑤ Copy of your passport (can be submitted by May 30^th)

4) Attention: Documents submitted during the application process will not be returned
regardless of the final outcome of the selection process

7.  Application Procedures

1)Selection process

The Korean embassy in your residence will select and nominate promising candidates, based on NIIED’s guidelines. The director of NIIED will make the final selection, and the list of participants will be reported back to your embassy.

2) For the specific schedule, please refer to the Korean legation in your residence.

Regional Quota / limitation

Region / Area	Quota			Remarks
	Adoptees	Program Leaders	Total
U.S Embassy	4	1	5
Honolulu	1		1
New York	3		3
Atlanta	2		2
Boston	2		2
Chicago	3		3
Seattle	3		3
San Francisco	3		3
Los Angeles	3		3
Houston	3		3
Montreal	3		3
Vancouver	2		2
Toronto	3		3
France	14	1	15
Sweden	9	1	10
Denmark	9	1	10
Norway	6	1	7
Netherlands	4	1	5
Belgium	3		3
Germany	3		3
Switzerland	3		3
Luxembourg	3		3
Italy	2		2
Australia	3		3
Total	94	6	100

2009 재외동포학생 모국방문연수 참가 신청서

(Application for the Invitation Program for Overseas Korean Students and Adoptees)

 인적사항 (Personal Information)             (Please TYPE or PRINT clearly. Use black ink.)

성명

(Last Name/Middle Name/First Name )

(English)

칼라 사진

(Color Photo

3×4 cm)

(Nationality)

칼라 사진

(Color Photo

3×4 cm)

(Gender)

칼라 사진

(Color Photo

3×4 cm)

(Religion)

칼라 사진

(Color Photo

3×4 cm)

(Home)

자택

(Home)

(Phone Number)

자택

(Home)

(E-mail)

한국내 연락처

(Available Contact Number in Korea)

성명 (Last Name/Middle Name/First Name )		한국어 (Korean)						칼라 사진 (Color Photo 3×4 cm)
		영어	※영문명은 여권명과 동일해야 함 Equal to the name of passport
국적
		생년월일: 연월일 (Date of Birth: yy/mm/dd)
성별
□ Male □ Female		여권 번호 (Passport No.)
종교
		건강상태 (Health Condition)
자택
	주소 (Address)
	전화		+          -             - Country Code / Area Code / Phone Number
이메일
학교 (School)				학년(Grade)
한국내 연락처 (Available Contact Number in Korea)	주소(Address)
	전화(Phone Number)				이름 및 관계 (Name &Relationship)

 과거 한국에서의 거주 또는 체류 사실 (Previous Visits or Residence in Korea)

기간: 연월일 (Period: yy/mm/dd)	지역 (City or Region)	목적 (Purpose of  Stay)	거주 또는 체류관련기관 (Organization Concerned)
~
~

 위 기재 내용은 모두 사실이며, 한국정부초청 2009 재외동포학생 모국방문연수 참가자로 선발될 경우 초청국인 대한민국의 법률을 준수하고 초청측인 국립국제교육원의 안내 및  학생생활수칙을 성실히 따를 것을 서약합니다.

As an applicant of the Invitation Program for Overseas Korean Students, I hereby pledge that the above information is all true and I will abide by all the laws of Korea and regulations of NIIED.

지원자        성명                                 (서명)

Applicant       Name                               (Signature)

 본인은 위 지원자의 학부모, 학교장으로서, 국립국제교육원에서 실시하는 2009 재외동포학생 모국방문연수 목적과 내용에 동의하며, 동 프로그램에 지원자가 참가하기를 희망합니다.

As an applicant’s parents(guardian) and principal, I sincerely agree with the aim and contents of this program and hope the applicant above to be selected as a participant of this program.

지원자 학부모       관계               성명                      (서명)

Parent or Guardian      Relationship         Name                     (Signature)

지원자 학교장                          성명                      (서명)

Principal of School                         Name                     (Signature)

2009 Korean Government Scholarship for Grad. Students

Wow, this looks like a great scholarship.  Thanks to Dae-won from GOAL for spreading the news.  This scholarship is an increbidle opportunity for anyone who has thought about moving to Korea for an extended period of time.  Not only is your airfare covered, but a monthly allowance for living expenses, and “additional allowances.”  You can choose a Master’s Program (three years) or a Doctoral Program (four years).  The first year is only learning Korean, which to me sounds great!

And….get this “There are no limits in regards to nationality and number of applicants.“  It does depend on your country’s own stipulations but they urge you to check with your Korean consulate for more information.

Let’s review shall we?  Free roundtrip airfare, a Master’s/Doc program, learn Korean, monthly allowance, additional allowances and…LIVE IN KOREA!!!  Maybe I’m getting too excited about this, but it is a great scholarship opportunity.

GOAL needs all applications probably a week or two before  June 12, 2009, to be eligible.  Term starts in the fall of this year.  And don’t worry, this scholarship isn’t going anywhere.  There will be more next year!  Good luck -GS

(By the way, I’ve attached a copy of the application).  You can also check out the GOAL website for details:  www.goal.or.kr

—

More thoughts…

The following is a bit raw.  I mean, it’s more a stream of consciousness than anything else.  I would appreciate comments from other adoptees at this point.  Even those who have gone through the reunion process.

As you can imagine I’m still trying to process this week’s events.  It’s still a bit surreal for me-this whole birth mother thing…It’s not that I haven’t thought about it, because I have endlessly.  Now it’s more real, and I guess I’m starting to get a little bit nervous.  This doesn’t decrease the level of excitement I still have, but now I’m thinking about all these other issues and questions I’ll have and how to ask her in a sensitive way.

How to talk about my birth father-A man, for me  who has been absent in my story as far as I can tell, but someone who I still want to know about.  But of course this will be a hard question to ask.  Add to that the possibility that I might be meeting my two half-siblings and step father and it makes things even harder.  But I will have to ask.

What is my story?  What is her story?  Is it just as the agency told us it happened?  So much territory to cover in a short period of time.

I also have to solve the whole translator question.  I’ll need a translator for sure.  I’m not sure if Holt provides them, but I think that GOAL does as well.  Does anyone have any experience with using translators in Korea?  Thanks for all the support I have received!  I really appreciate it. -GS

I Found My Birthmother

After barely any time since I started my second search I received an email this morning telling me that they had found my birth mother.  It’s quite shocking, and I’m not quite sure how to handle it all yet.

I was also told that she wants to meet me when I visit Korea in a few months.  That’s all I have for your now, but I will most definitely fill you in when I receive more information.

GS

And Now I wait…

I finally finished my letter to my birth mother.  It was hard, but easier when I realized that it was just the beginning of any further communications I might have with her.

It took a while but I finished the letter to my birth mother which will some day actually reach her.  Thanks to all of you who supported me on this.  It seems like such a small thing in the beginning, but it ended up being so much harder than I had originally thought.

Now it’s a waiting game.  I’ve been told that they will now search.  Who knows how long the process could take.  I’m also aware that it may not necessarily lead anywhere.  But I had to start the process.  Sorry it’s been so long since my last post, but there’s been a lot on my mind lately.  I kept putting this off mostly because I didn’t know how to start my letter.  But I appreciate all your comments and support.  I’ll be back with some more content soon, I promise!

GS

Kim Sunee on Iron Chef

I have something to admit, I’m addicted to anything dealing with food on tv.  With that said, it should come as no surprise that I’m a fan of Iron Chef on the Food Network.  What would make you want to watch Iron Chef if you haven’t yet?  Kim Sunee, Korean adoptee, Author of  “Trail of Crumbs,” and food editor of Cottage Living Magazine will be appearing on Iron Chef in February.  No she won’t be challenging Morimoto to a dual, but she will be a guest judge.  People on the K@W listserv say she’ll be on February 15th, but her website only says she will be appearing on Iron Chef in February.  I’d check your tv listings.

If you haven’t had a chance to read her book, check it out at amazon.  Oh and by the way, Happy Lunar New Year everyone! – GS

Updates

It’s been a while since my last post, but it has also been a news filled month.   Some of it has been historic and some of it has been tragic.  It’s been an overwhelming month.   There was the inauguration of President Barack Obama, a much too close to home shooting spree and horrendous rape on the part of a man wanting to kill all “nonwhite people,” a brutal decapitation at Virginia Tech, and just today I read about an adoptee in Ohio who shot and killed his father, mother and step-sister then set the house on fire.

I apologize for all the bad news but I think it’s a reminder for many of us that the inauguration of President Obama has not signalled an end to racism or discrimination in this country.  There are still wide-sweeping psychological and mental health disparities amongst people of color.  There are still people who are racist, in fact I heard a story recently that white supremacist organizations are on the rise across the country.  But for me one of the most terrifying realities of this whole “post-racial” era they are heralding is that in many ways our country is returning to America’s colorblind roots.  An ideology that denies that there are histories of discriminative policies, slavery (colonial and modern day), health disparities that have shaped generations and generations of people of color today.  They are histories that have created many of these wide-sweeping racial and socioeconomic disparities.  And to attempt to “see beyond” these color differences is to turn a blind eye to issues that NEED to be seen more NOT less.

It’s been a while since I’ve engaged in a conversation regarding these sort of issues, but I’m going to attempt to bring these sort of issues up more often when I’m posting.  Thanks to everyone for reading and for your support!

-GS

Finding Her…

It’s been over a month since I found out that Holt has contact information for my birth mother.  It’s information that may have been withheld from me for some time.  Back when I turned 18 I initiated a search for my birth parents through a private investigator in Korea-a PI who family friends had had relative success with.  Unfortunately I was told that identifying information was not on record for me, and even knowing my surname would be like searching for a needle in a haystack.  So I gave up.

Now, after some time, I sort of haphazardly requested more information regarding my birth mother and it magically appeared.  I suppose I’m not surprised, but what’s perhaps more astonishing to me is that I’ve hesitated since I received the information.  It seems like the one thing that has been driving me through out my life-this notion that some day I might have the opportunity to not only contact my birth mother, but maybe even meet her.

A social worker sent me a form to fill out complete with a letter that I should write to my birth mother.  A letter to my birth mother…Yes, that’s been the one thing holding me back.  How do you write a letter to your birth mother?  I thought I knew, but I don’t want to blow this opportunity.  I don’t want to come off too pushy, but don’t want to seem disingenuous.  I want to be honest, but not brutally so.  I’ve written the first sentence of my letter probably close to 20 times now, and I still can’t seem to get the right tone.

I always imagined that this would be much easier than it is.  And even if I do manage to complete this letter to her, there is absolutely no reason for me to expect for anything else to happen.  Who knows, the information could be outdated, she might not be ready to come to terms with my existence…she might not even be alive.

I guess it’s just been easier for me to imagine than it is in reality.  Or maybe it’s just because that’s the only way I’ve been able to digest the notion that my birth mother is out there maybe.  And the whole time, I’ve forgotten that I can rely on the support from other adoptees whom I know only through this blog.  Well, if you have advice, I’d love to hear it.

GS